A Look Into My Layoff Experience
By Grace Tran
I struggle with how to start. I want to add a disclaimer that this piece highlights my personal perspective given my own lived experience. It is hard to say that this piece will provide any helpful information for other genetic counselors going through a layoff, but I hope it will provide validation that the tough feelings and challenges that come with a layoff are real.
Let me set the stage. Up until the news, my career had been stable, typical, and almost mundane. I graduated from the University of Cincinnati/Cincinnati Children's Hospital Center Genetic Counseling Program in 2014. Following graduation, my first job was at a large academic cancer hospital center where I practiced as a clinical cancer genetic counselor for 6.5 years before I transitioned to a new patient-facing role within industry. It is not uncommon for genetic counselors to have this trajectory. At that time, the biggest risk that I had to take was to leave what I know and love, clinical care and all of my brilliant and supportive coworkers and friends, for a new and unfamiliar position. It felt like the right professional move for me at that stage in my life and career. To be perfectly honest, the financial risks of joining a startup company within a volatile biotech industry were not even on my radar when I weighed the pros and cons of taking this position. All to say, I took the leap of faith and took an industry genetic counseling position.
"Oh dear heavens above." My internal dialogue following the layoff news was probably not so wholesome; however, the underlying sentiment is the same. It was shocking. The manner in which this news was delivered to me and other affected colleagues was inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. There were so many other thoughts and feelings bubbling up and taking over. There were signs, of course, but thinking that you will be laid off is almost like believing that you will win the lottery; it is, of course, possible as a concept, but will it actually happen? The chances are low, right?
Let me back up further and describe my parents. My parents are of Chinese descent, but they were born and raised in Vietnam and eventually immigrated to the United States (U.S.). My brother and I were born and raised in Texas and are the first generation in the U.S. My parents are generous, selfless, and devoted when it comes to their family. They worked tirelessly 10-16-hour days, 7 days a week, to support my brother and me, and they are often the support for our entire extended family. They had tenacious work ethics because they needed to make a living in this country. Similar to many other parents, they also hope they can raise and support their children to have a life that will be easier and less arduous than theirs. My parents set a high bar for what it means to be hard workers and instilled in my brother and I the value of a stable job.
The layoff news affected me in waves and in different levels. The initial overwhelming feelings were shock and disbelief. Following that, I think I went into action mode – the practical logistics to be considered and conversations to be had. How much money do I have in my bank account? What should I do about health insurance? How will I tell my partner, my friends, my parents? After the dust has settled and the news seem more distant comes the feeling of “c’est la vie” and I feel…calm. Unexpectedly and out of nowhere it seems, I start feeling ashamed. I never envisioned a career trajectory to include a layoff – what did I do wrong? More than anything else, I feel that I have failed – I have failed my parents and wasted their years of sacrifice and hard work. Always present and suppressed under the surface are fear and self-doubt. This layoff affected a significant number of people within the company and the volatile industry resulted in many other companies having layoffs as well. With the job market inundated with highly competent and qualified genetic counselors, I was incredibly afraid that I would not find another job utilizing the skillset I have as a genetic counselor.
I cannot say that I coped with these feelings and insecurities on my own. Many genetic counselors reached out with words of empathy, of support, of frustration on my behalf. Many prior and current coworkers leapt into action and circulated job opportunities and facilitated professional connections as many of us went through the layoff and job searching process. It felt more bearable. My partner, my family, my parents – they are brave, confident, and fearless in the face of my challenges. They believed in me at times when I did not. I did not go through this process alone; the love and support from everyone near and far helped me cope.
Crawling through the practical logistics and waves and layers of feelings, one major question still remains unanswered. What do I want to do next in my career? In this regard, I was privileged and financially secure enough to have time to consider what I want to do next. I had the luxury to pause and reflect on my interests and professional goals. That is not to say, I did not go through phases of panic and apply to open positions to reassure myself that I am “doing something”. However, I tried to be thoughtful in how I, as a genetic counselor with my specific skillset and experience, can contribute in a meaningful way to the healthcare community.
The COVID-19 pandemic will have a significant and long-lasting impact on so many facets of our society. It definitely shook my personal and professional worlds in ways I had never expected. Seeing the public doubt medical science and renowned academic and national institutions’ purpose of promoting public health planted a seed of interest for me – genetic counselors are trained in communicating complex medical genetics and genomics information tailored to specific audiences – individual patients, families, healthcare providers, the public. So I pivoted. I took another leap of faith and pursued opportunities within the public health space.
How would one know that a curriculum vitae (CV) tailored for a federal government position should follow a specific format? I did not – it was not common knowledge for me, and there was no reason for me to need to know this in my original career trajectory. Luckily, I learned this helpful tip through discussions with friends and colleagues. I convinced myself, and reinforced by the cheerleaders in my life, that the skills that I have learned through my graduate training and honed through my work experiences are translatable to a public health position. I did what I knew best – I researched and learned as much as I could about the position. I thought through how each of my prior roles and experiences could be leveraged to support and/or enhance the roles for the prospective position. I learned from a dear friend that if you have done so much work in researching and preparing for a job, at some point, you will convince yourself that you are well-suited for that position. Ultimately, I think it became evident through my interviews that I developed a genuine interest and passion to serve the public.
I did not do it alone. I was given opportunities and advice through professional and personal connections. I had many discussions with mentors, friends, colleagues, family members, and my partner on my decision to pursue and take a public health position. These chats helped me process the reality of this layoff, how to pivot my career into the next chapter, and ultimately helped me feel at peace with this whole saga.